Proverbs 31 Apprehensions

I have always shied away from the idea of the Proverbs 31 wife. To me, it seemed like I would be set up for failure. I was never much into housecleaning. The only time I really clean is when I know someone was coming over. Unfortunately, I have carried this into my marriage. My husband was a self-proclaimed neat freak while we were dating. In reality, I think it was more of my mother-in-law who was the neat freak. However, he no longer shows much sign of that obsessive need for everything to be perfectly clean. I feel like it is my fault for that and the guilt sometimes really gets to me.

Being addicted to Pinterest, I came across a book called My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife by Sara Horn. Practically rolling my eyes at the thought of the Proverbs 31 Suzy Homemaker, I ended up buying the book on my Kindle. I have started reading and I have to admit that the author sounds a lot like me in her apprehensions of Proverbs 31. A desire in my heart has been growing to be more like this 'perfect' wife depicted in the Bible. I am still afraid of failure and part of me still rebels at the idea. I have always said that the responsibilities around the house should be shared between both the husband and the wife. My husband does help but I do feel like I do a lot more than him. However, I am praying against these feelings for a more servant heart in my household.  Philippians 2:3-4 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others."