Infertility Testing

Daniel and I have been trying to have a baby since July. With each month, my cycles are getting longer and longer and now it is evident that I am not ovulating. I went to my gynecologist yesterday and she is almost certain that I have PCOS. We have talked about that possibility in the past due to my crazy, irregular periods. I am now having to do fertility testing to find out exactly what is going on with me. Yesterday, I had the blood work done to check my hormone levels. From what I have read, PCOS is caused by too much testosterone. I'm in the process of scheduling a hysterosalpinggogram (HSG). This test scares me. They inject iodine into my uterus to see if my fallopian tubes are block. I'm worried about how much this is going to hurt.

Daniel has to do a semen analysis. He did one over the summer when he was being tested for low testosterone. His primary put him on Androgel but when he went for a 2nd opinion at a urologist, he retested him. There was nothing wrong with his testosterone and the Androgel was killing off his sperm...one of the many side effects of the medicine. Daniel is nervous about the test due to performance anxiety last time and he is also worried about the results. I told him that if I have to get iodine shot up into my uterus, he can go take care of himself for a test LOL. He actually has been a big support through all this. 

I am trying not to get discouraged about the idea of infertility. No woman ever imagines having to do fertility treatments in order to have a baby. It is one of the many roles God has designed women to do. "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" Psalm 37:4. To conceive a child is the desire of my heart and I need to trust fully in the Lord that He will provide this. In His timing and through His will. It is easy to say and pray but the pain and worry is still there. 

A Daughter's Nightmare

Me and my dad on my wedding day- 04/23/11

On August 25 I received the worst phone call of my life. My 21 year old brother called me in a panic to tell me that he, along with my parents, were in a horrible car accident on their way home from a week long fishing trip. My brother and mother both sustained mild to moderate injuries. However, my father died on impact. It is strange to say this but knowing that makes me fell relieved. I know that he didn't feel any pain and woke up in heaven with the Lord.

Throughout everything at the accident, I stayed on the phone with my brother trying to be strong for him as the world fell apart around our family. My father was gone. Never in my life would I have ever thought this would be the end of his life. Just turning 60 a week before the accident (and the last time I had talked to him), he still had so much planned for his life. He had retired only months before and was just waiting for my mom to retire before they set out traveling around the country. With my husband and I trying to have a baby, he was so excited at the idea of being a grandpa. He would have made the best grandpa! I can’t help but cry thinking about how much my future children will miss out on without having him in their life.

It has been so difficult trying to resume a ‘normal’ life since the accident. My mom is still recovering from her injuries with the help of my sister. My husband and I live several states away but we are visiting as much as possible. We just came back from a visit and will be going again for Christmas. I haven’t spent a Christmas with my dad since December 2010. It is going to be so hard having the holidays without him there. I am learning to take each day by day to get through. Some days are good and some I can barely get through a single hour without breaking down into tears.

I know that my daddy is waiting to me in heaven. He is up there waiting for me and I know that he never wanted to cause our family so much pain. I just can’t help but wonder why did it have to be so soon? Why couldn’t I have more time with him? He was the best father any girl could ever ask for. I don’t think I will ever stop missing him but I do know that I will see him again.

Strawberry Pie

I wanted to make a dessert this past weekend and I knew there was pie crust in the freezer that needed to be used soon. I haven't made a pie in quite awhile and I was pretty sure that rhubarb was now in season. Strawberry rhubarb pie is one of my favorites! When hubby and I went to the store to get some groceries for the upcoming week, I couldn't find rhubarb anywhere! We even stopped at another store on the way home but no one had it in stock.

I debated about waiting to make the pie until I could find some rhubarb. However, my husband looked pretty disappointed about no pie for dessert and I did have a large carton of fresh strawberries. I quickly found a recipe online for Old Fashioned Strawberry Pie. It turned out so good! I was pretty impressed with myself and my husband ate about half the pie himself last night! When he goes for additional helpings, I know he likes it!

Old Fashioned Strawberry Pie

Ingredients:

• 2 (9 inch) unbaked pie crusts (I used the unroll Pillsbury Pie Crusts)
• 1 1/4 cups white sugar
• 1/3 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 4 cups fresh strawberries, sliced
• 2 tablespoons butter

1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. Place one crust in a nine inch pie pan.
2. Mix together sugar, flour, and cinnamon in a medium sized bowl. Mix lightly through the berries but do not crush them. Pour filling into pastry lined pan, and dot fruit with butter or margarine. Cover with top crust, and cut slits in the top. Seal and flute the edges.
3. Bake for 35 to 45 minutes, or until the crust is slightly browned.

I also covered the edges of the pie with foil about 20 minutes into baking. This way the edges didn't get too dark.

Loathing Housework

People who have known me for years know that the last thing I want to do is housework. Even as a child, my mother had to fight with me to get me to clean my room. That simple task would take my hours instead of the 30 minutes it should have. Even to this day, when I get home from work the last thing I want to do is clean. I would much rather flop down on the couch and relax watching TV or reading a book.

When thinking about the Proverbs 31 wife, I picture Suzy homemaker with an immaculate clean house. Everything in it's proper place and not a speck of dust in sight. Looking up at my ceiling fan right now tells me it is about time to do some dusting. "She watches over the affairs of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness" Proverbs 31:27.In this regard, I cannot help but feel guilty. I have plenty of lazy days without lifting a finger to help around the house. As a wife, I really want to be better about this and feel some conviction about my slothfulness.

In order to help keep organized and focused throughout the week, I came up with a weekly cleaning schedule. I take one section of the apartment and do the basic cleaning along with one complete load of laundry a day.

Monday

Kitchen

Laundry- 1 load

Tuesday

Bathrooms

Laundry- 1 load

Wednesday

Living Room/Dining Room

Laundry- 1 load

Thursday

Bedroom

Laundry- 1 load

Friday

Office

Laundry- 1 load

I tentatively started this on Tuesday. I actually kept to it better than I thought I would, considering what a crazy week it was at work. I am praying that I keep to the schedule better next week, instead of having to double up when I missed a day. If you have any tips or ideas, I would love the advice!!

Proverbs 31 Apprehensions

I have always shied away from the idea of the Proverbs 31 wife. To me, it seemed like I would be set up for failure. I was never much into housecleaning. The only time I really clean is when I know someone was coming over. Unfortunately, I have carried this into my marriage. My husband was a self-proclaimed neat freak while we were dating. In reality, I think it was more of my mother-in-law who was the neat freak. However, he no longer shows much sign of that obsessive need for everything to be perfectly clean. I feel like it is my fault for that and the guilt sometimes really gets to me.

Being addicted to Pinterest, I came across a book called My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife by Sara Horn. Practically rolling my eyes at the thought of the Proverbs 31 Suzy Homemaker, I ended up buying the book on my Kindle. I have started reading and I have to admit that the author sounds a lot like me in her apprehensions of Proverbs 31. A desire in my heart has been growing to be more like this 'perfect' wife depicted in the Bible. I am still afraid of failure and part of me still rebels at the idea. I have always said that the responsibilities around the house should be shared between both the husband and the wife. My husband does help but I do feel like I do a lot more than him. However, I am praying against these feelings for a more servant heart in my household.  Philippians 2:3-4 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others."